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Phar lap
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Joined: 20 Jun 2003
Posts: 1006
Location: A flawed Utopia
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 Posted: 11/26/03 - 22:22 Post subject: Historic letters that didn't make it.
To their Majesties, King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella of Spain.
Your Majesties,
the last time we met, we had a rather lively dissucusion wich ended with you both you telling me that I should leave the court and sail westwards indefinitely "and don't come back until you've discovered something".
If I didn't know better, I'd have thought you were trying to get rid of me for some reason. Anyhow, now that I have discovered something, I'm back. It's an island in the middle of nowhere. And I'm calling it Coloumbia, in honour of me. There is some bloke called Amerigo Vespucci who says he discovered it first and wants to call it Vespuccia, but I think I've talked him out of that.
As souveniers, I've brought back some tobacco, potatoes, choclate, corn, a turkey, and an odd shaped horned helmet.
I'm not sure what you do with any of them, but we noticed on the journey that if you give the tobacco to the turkey, the bird is well smoked by the time you get to your destination.
Anyhow that's it from me, I'm totally sick of long sea voyages with grubby sailors for company, and no matter how much your Majesties would like it, I'm hanging up my horned helmet and not going seafaring again.
The sailors were right. The earth is flat, you can see the edge of it from Coloumbia, and I definietly don't want to go any nearer than that. From now on i'ts the landlubbers life for me.
Yours,
Chris.
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