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kristin31
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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 Posted: 02/27/04 - 18:28 Post subject: Here are a few of my favorite tourist questions...enjoy.
1) Is the beach right on the ocean? (Nope, it's in the middle of Highway 1. Go lie on the yellow line and catch some sun.)
2) Do people really live here? I mean, those schools are real and stuff? (No jackass, we put them out solely for your amusement)
3) Can't you do something about this water on the table?
(OK, you sit on a beach, with with wind on the water's edge. How f'ing stupid are you? Yes, I know I am not very nice. You want nice, you need to move your IQ up a few notches.)
4) Can't you do something about the seagulls pooping on the tables?
(Yes,I'll get right on that. Right after I stop the water from washing ashore and move the beach)
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genie
Master of Prissface
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Joined: 14 May 2002
Posts: 16194
Location: Finding serenity one day at a time
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Posted: 02/27/04 - 18:47 Post subject:
 she's SO not kidding either.....
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crazyfrog
Kermitologist
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Joined: 31 May 2003
Posts: 7610
Location: atlanta
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Posted: 02/27/04 - 18:47 Post subject: Re: Here are a few of my favorite tourist questions...enjoy.
| kristin31 wrote: | 1) Is the beach right on the ocean? (Nope, it's in the middle of Highway 1. Go lie on the yellow line and catch some sun.)
2) Do people really live here? I mean, those schools are real and stuff? (No jackass, we put them out solely for your amusement)
3) Can't you do something about this water on the table?
(OK, you sit on a beach, with with wind on the water's edge. How f'ing stupid are you? Yes, I know I am not very nice. You want nice, you need to move your IQ up a few notches.)
4) Can't you do something about the seagulls pooping on the tables?
those are great!
(Yes,I'll get right on that. Right after I stop the water from washing ashore and move the beach) |
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blue
your favorite weapon
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Joined: 21 May 2002
Posts: 7010
Location: armed and ambitious
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Posted: 02/27/04 - 21:40 Post subject:
hmmm..
well the beach could be on a lake... (like it is here) it could also be an oasis, or some other water body that may be *attached* to the ocean, but not necessarily the ocean...
in disney world they make fake little towns.
you could also make a habit of whiping off the tables as frequently as possible, as to ensure their dryness.
you may also consider umbrellas, so that the seagulls aren't pooping directly on the table. or suggest the kind sir eat inside.
it's possible our friends have legitamite issues here. 
now remember, even though some people aren't very intelligent, they often have money to spend, and you're usually in a position to take it or benefit from this money. help them along nicely, smile and nod, and hope that they fall on the way out and you can take some of their   money.
ps. do they by chance stop by my work on their travels? there's a lot of people who have trouble ordering bagels and coffee... hardest thing in the world to them.
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kristin31
Member
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Joined: 15 May 2002
Posts: 8045
Location: Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
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Posted: 02/29/04 - 04:49 Post subject:
| blue wrote: | hmmm..
well the beach could be on a lake... (like it is here) it could also be an oasis, or some other water body that may be *attached* to the ocean, but not necessarily the ocean...
in disney world they make fake little towns.
you could also make a habit of whiping off the tables as frequently as possible, as to ensure their dryness.
you may also consider umbrellas, so that the seagulls aren't pooping directly on the table. or suggest the kind sir eat inside.
it's possible our friends have legitamite issues here.
now remember, even though some people aren't very intelligent, they often have money to spend, and you're usually in a position to take it or benefit from this money. help them along nicely, smile and nod, and hope that they fall on the way out and you can take some of their money.
ps. do they by chance stop by my work on their travels? there's a lot of people who have trouble ordering bagels and coffee... hardest thing in the world to them. |
Blue, blue, blue......
You're young and have patience.
There ARE no lakes on these islands. Everything is ocean.
I don't make the decisions as to umbrellas. Ostensibly, the wind from the ocean is strong enough to move an entire table , food, silverware, etc INTO the ocean. It's kinda like; "You sit by the ocean, you get water in your face."
On the other hand, it has some sick, bizarre amusement value.
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