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Floridaboiler
POTFH
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Joined: 18 May 2002
Posts: 11322
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
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 Posted: 02/05/03 - 21:45 Post subject: Helpful Hints?
Helpful Hint #1
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply
pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and presto!
The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Helpful Hint #2
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by
getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Helpful Hint #3
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an
ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it
before you put it on.
Helpful Hint #4
Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish
bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them
to swim in an amusing manner.
Helpful Hint #5
An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps
makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.
Helpful Hint #6
Avoid arguments with the misses about lifting the toilet
seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Helpful Hint #7
High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and
bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Helpful Hint #8
A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock, will
prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
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